Why Leadership Today Feels Hard, and What to Do About It

Leadership today feels harder than it did ten years ago.

That’s not because leaders are less capable or less committed. It’s because the job itself has changed and many of today’s expectations didn’t exist earlier in leaders’ careers.

In conversations with leaders across industries, the same tension comes up again and again:

How do I drive results while also supporting the very real human needs of the people on my team?

That tension sits at the core of why leadership feels so demanding right now.

What’s Changed in Leadership

For many organizations, leadership used to be more command-and-control. It was hierarchical, directive, and far less personal. Leaders were expected to set direction, make decisions, and hold people accountable, often without engaging deeply with the human side of work.

That model has shifted.

Today’s leaders are expected to navigate the full human experience at work. They’re managing performance but also motivation, engagement, emotional well-being, and constant change.

Results still matter. Leaders are still running businesses. But the path to results looks different than it used to. It takes more intention, more time, and a different set of skills to get there.

The Growing Emotional Load

One of the biggest shifts over the last decade is the increase in emotional load leaders carry.

Leaders are no longer just accountable for outcomes. They are also managing individual needs, team dynamics, and ongoing uncertainty, often all at once.

This shows up most clearly for people leaders and middle managers, who are often caught between expectations coming from above and the realities their teams are facing every day. They’re holding pressure from both directions, and many feel like they’re falling short on both sides.

It’s not surprising that this leads to burnout.

Results Still Matter, But Getting There Is Different

There’s a misconception that human-centered leadership means lowering standards or prioritizing feelings over performance. That’s not what’s being asked of leaders.

Results still matter.

What’s changed is how leaders get there.

Driving results through trust, communication, and relationships takes a different approach than simply pushing metrics or issuing directives. It often requires leaders to slow down in certain moments, listen more carefully, and engage people in ways that weren’t previously expected.

Holding both humanity and accountability is difficult, especially when leaders were never formally taught how to do it.

Why This Feels Especially Hard Right Now

Part of the challenge is that this style of leadership is still relatively new.

There isn’t a well-worn playbook for how to do this well across different organizations and industries. Leaders are navigating largely uncharted territory, often learning through experience rather than clear guidance.

Early in a leadership career, everything can feel urgent and high-stakes. Over time, experience brings perspective and an understanding that not every issue is catastrophic, and that organizations are often more resilient than they feel in the moment.

But that perspective takes time, and many leaders are being asked to operate at a high level of complexity before they’ve had the chance to build it.

What Actually Helps Leaders Navigate This Moment

Leadership today requires an expanded skill set, one that builds on traditional leadership capabilities while adding new ones.

Strong communication, emotional intelligence, curiosity, and the ability to navigate conflict productively are no longer “nice to have.” They’re central to effective leadership.

This also requires a shift in mindset from being purely directive to adopting a more coaching-oriented approach. Leaders don’t need to have all the answers. Asking better questions and engaging others often leads to stronger outcomes and greater commitment.

Just as importantly, leaders need perspective and support. Leadership can be isolating, especially when the pressure is high and decisions are complex. Having a sounding board, especially someone outside the organization, helps leaders stay grounded and intentional.

This isn’t about fixing leaders. It’s about helping them think more clearly in an increasingly complex environment.

Reframing “Hard”

Leadership feels harder today because it asks more of leaders, not just in what they do, but in how they show up.

The expectations are broader. The emotional load is heavier. And the pace of change isn’t slowing down.

But this doesn’t mean leaders are failing. It means the role itself has evolved. Leaders who recognize that and invest in building the capabilities to meet it are better positioned to lead well in this new reality.

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At A.J. O’Connor Associates, we work with leaders and organizations to build these capabilities through leadership development and coaching, helping leaders navigate this complexity with clarity, confidence, and perspective.